THE CAR: A HANDS-ON EXPERIENCE!

Ocean County Observer

October 8, 1984

 

Columnist Matt Seiden’s essay about his new American car although humorous, had a plaintiff ring that evoked both sympathy and recognition. Too often one hears about the new auto with a blown head gasket or malfunctioning transmission (because the arts are made of plastic) and of salesmen who no longer remember the customer.

 

However, there are other shocks in store for the American driver that might prompt him or her to take a second look at plunking down large monies for the new car; that might provide incentive to repairing the old; mainly the trend towards self-serving gas stations. Now it is true that little old ladies in tennis shoes seem adept at manipulating the pump and hose, but there are some of us, men and women alike, who handle the gasoline hose as if it were an unfriendly cobra.; and if one isn’t careful, one might accidentally get in the way of an errant hose and become the next candidate for immolation without a cause. Of course you would go out in a blaze of glory.

 

The fact is that a self service gas station is nothing more than a candy store with a gas pump up front.. Everything done at the pump is registered within on some computerized register for which the customer can pay after having done some impulse buying of sundries.

 

But God help the driver whose car  has broken down, who needs a new tire, whose fan belt is frayed and about to snap. Particularly on a weekend, this hapless soul will be stranded. He will have the same chance of getting home as the hapless passenger bumped off a plane in Athens or Rome. Stranded.

 

Worse yet for the driver on a cold day stalled in the northern reaches of New York state or Pennsylvania. Neither repair stations, luncheonettes, diners or even telephones.

 

If the age of services for drivers are over, if those on the byways of America need help, little if any is to be found. The side roads are not traveled as once they were, nor frequently patrolled. The only safe place to drive in America today is on a super highway. For any other road be advised to pack camping equipment and a Coleman heater, plenty of fuel and a CB radio.

 

Yet self service gas stations are proliferating at an alarming rate, and the chances of finding a mechanic to fix your car are becoming more remote. The engines themselves are so complicated that they are virtually unfixable by the layman to say nothing of the skilled mechanic. Have you discovered how to put water into your battery? Have you found the radiator? Is the location of your gas tank spout a mystery? Where is the oil stick? No dummy, not the engine oil, the transmission oil. The fact is that space technology has overtaken the automobile with one major disadvantage, that there is no NASA to talk us down, or explain to us when we are in trouble how to get home again safely. As a matter of fact that is exactly what we need, a NASA, a central talkathon to get drivers who are in trouble out of trouble, to signal; help for them, to teach them how to get the darned thing started. Or else let’s go back to the simpler engine, the one I can trouble-shoot myself. I really don’t need 1000 hoses hiding the engine so I can get instant air and instant heat. I need visibility and space so I can change the plug and find the distributor. I want to own the car, not be its captive.

 

If the trend continues, automobile travel in America will become as dangerous to you as the covered wagon was to pioneers traveling through hostile territory.

 

Watch y-0ourself when you drive. It is no longer driver friendly out there.

 

Maybe Matt Seiden is lucky his car broke down in Maryland. It could have happened in the Dakota Badlands on a cold day or even in the Jersey Pinelands.

 

Maybe the auto companies know what they are doing. Make a frail car that can’t take you too far. It may save your life.