Assessing Values Of Mutual Deterrence Auto

Ocean County Observer

November 21, 1977

Rumors that there was something new in the automotive field were confirmed when Costygan called me. “It’s ready,” he said simply.

I agreed to meet him at his shop. There he unfurled the new automobile he had been working on for years.

“It all started,” he said, “when I realized that the fact that Russia and the United States both owned atomic bombs was called ‘mutual deterrence,’ it got me thinking. People really don’t want to die. The leaders of countries have never shirked their responsibility of sending young people into the armed forces and often to their deaths, but have shirked going to the front lines themselves. After all, what happened when Kennedy took office? He scaled down war to the old artillery and small arms units. He developed special forces that could light and put out brush-fire wars. Lyndon Johnson was very scrupulous in Viet Nam to keep war at the level of the foot soldier and bombers that destroyed forests, not people. He didn’t want to get involved with Russia and the possibility of nuclear war. Why? Because nuclear war threatens our leaders and they are sometimes dumb, but not crazy.”

“What is all this leading to, Costygan?” I asked. “I have a luncheon date.”

“It leads to this automobile,” he answered. “You see, Ralph Nader made a mistake. He wanted American cars to be safer. This was done at the cost of millions, but gives the driver a false sense of security. Now they are toying with the idea of air bags to cushion the shock of an accident. After all, some flaky guy might just ram a pole to see i8f the things work. The net result of Nader’s campaign was to reward the driver for carelessness, and thus encourage him to continue to be careless.”

“Do you see any alternatives?” I asked.

“Of course. I built one. It is the mutual deterrence automobile. Here, I’ll show you.” He pulled a string and a large tarp fell away revealing a polishing Detroit special.

“Looks like any other car to me,” I said coolly.

“And it drives like one, too” Costygan answered. “But it is different. Here, I’ll show you. Get in the driver’s seat.”

I slid dutifully behind the wheel. Everything looked post and elegant.

“You are now sitting in the most dangerous car in the world,” Costygan explained.

“Why? No brakes?”

“Sure it has brakes,” Costygan explained, “but put the seat belt on.”

I struggled with the contraption, but couldn’t get it around my waist. “It’s too short,” I said disdainfully.

“No it isn’t. It fits around the neck.” He fastened it like a noose.

“You are crazy, Costygan. If I stop short this will strangle me.”

“Of course,” he said blandly. “That’s the idea. With that threat, you will keep at a safe distance.”

“Well, suppose the driver doesn’t wear the seat, or rather, the neck belt?”

“Simple. There is an inducer. Leave the seat belt off and start the motor.”

I did so and from the center of the steering wheel a bayonet protruded and stopped inches from my heart.

“See,” said Costygan proudly. “Get into a collision and you will be pierced through the left ventricle. Fatally.”

“Well,” I said ruefully, “that sure is an incentive for safe driving. But how do I protect myself against some boob who smacks into my rear?”

“Easy,” Costygan said. “Note the two tailpipes? Well, one of them is a pistol. If you are rear-ended, the pistol goes off and shoots the other driver dead, if he isn’t strangled or bayoneted first.”

“But that will leave two dead drivers in a simple accident.”

“Sure,” said Costygan gleefully. “It is a hell of a deterrent. After the first few headlines, people will drive carefully, don’t kid yourself.”

“But suppose everyone drives carefully and an accident occurs that isn’t anyone’s fault, like a blowout?”

“Look,” Costygan said patiently. “It’s like anything else. You win a few and lose a few. Would you like to take it out for a spin?”

“Thanks, Costygan, but I’m late for lunch.”

As I walked toward my safe car, he called after me. “I told you it was a deterrent.”