The Medicaid Game

Daily Observer

August 31, 1973

 

Rigid Rules are Counterproductive.

How Rigid can the Rules Be?

 

I arrived at Lapius’s office just after he saw his last patient for the day.  He was busy plucking at the small portable typewriter he kept near his desk.  The staccato sounds beat an unsteady rhythm until he had finished the letter.  Only then did he greet me.  “Hello, Harry,” without looking up.  “Here, read these.  They will bring you up to date on the final letter of my correspondence, the one I’ve just finished.”  He handed me a sheaf of papers.  “They are in chronological order.”  I started to read.  The first was from Lapius to Medicaid.

Gentlemen:  I have a patient who has just been deprived of his Medicaid privilege.  It seems that at your urging, he got a job which boosts him above the minimum for Medicaid by $100 yearly.  He is an asthmatic and requires weekly injections of pollens for desensitization.  Without these his asthma is so severe as to prevent him from working.  When he can’t work he goes on Medicaid.  When on Medicaid he can afford the injections that make him better and so, able to work.  When he gets a job he is taken off Medicaid and he can’t afford the shots.  I offer them to him for nothing, but he refuses, saying he doesn’t like to be in debt to anyone.  Without the shots his asthma returns and he has to quit his job.  This makes him eligible for Medicaid again.  Is there anyway out of this dilemma?”  Sincerely yours, S.Q. Lapius, M.D.

The answer was as follows,

Dearest Provider: If your patient earns even $1.00 more than the minimum, he is no longer entitled to Medicaid.  Sincerely yours, Ms. Eloise Smythe

Dearest Ms. Eloise Smythe: Your compassionate letter touched me deeply.  However, although it answers my question, it doesn’t solve the problem of how I can provide medical care for my patient.  Is there not some way in which the patient can be given a limited Medicaid allotment for his asthma desensitization shots.  After all he only earns $100 over the minimum.  It costs him $150.00 yearly for the shots.  This in reality brings him below the minimum.  Can Medicaid find $150.00 for this patient so he can remain gainfully employed?  Sincerely, S.Q. Lapius, M. D.

Dear Provider: I have already explained to you that the patient to whom you refer is above our minimum-earning rate.  If he is no longer able to work, he can return to Medicaid.  In order for him to return to Welfare rolls, you will have to fill out the five-page form (enclosed).  Sincerely yours, Ms. Smythe

Dear Ms. Smythe: We seem to be going in circles.  Is there someone there who has more of a grasp of the medical situation involved with whom I might correspond.  Am returning the five-page form (enclosed) since there is no point in filling them out because the patient is still above the minimum.  Yrs. Truly S.Q. Lapius, M.D.

Dear Provider: I refer you to my superior, Ms. Snyder.  She is the secretary to the manager of the unfilled Medicaid claims department and I am sure she will be able to answer your letter.  Truly yrs. Ms. Smythe

Dear Ms. Snyder: Enclosed is correspondence to from Ms. Smythe.  Can you help me in this matter.  Please note that now it takes a 16-cent stamp to forward the material.  Sincerely yours, S. Q. Lapius, M.D.

Dear Provider: Statutes relating to your patient are enclosed.  I hope they will be of assistance to you.  Please to us if we can help you in any way with your problems.  Sincerely yours, Ms. Smythe for Ms. Snyder

Dear Ms. Snyder-Smythe: Thank you for the clarification.  I read the statutes carefully.  Is there any way to get around them.  After all, for an investment of about $150 yearly the United States Government could save about $1000 in medical fees and an additional several thousand dollars in maintenance fees.  This represents a profit of about four thousand percent.  Incidentally, is there a higher up who could help circumvent the law?  Your obedient servant, S.Q. Lapius, M.D.

Dear Provider: Yes.  You could write to the director of the entire State program.  Ms. Martin Milgrim.  Sincerely, Ms. Smythe for Ms. Snyder

Dear Ms. Martin Milgrim: Enclosed is the correspondence between myself and your office.  Can you help to find a reasonable way out of this dilemma.  S.Q. Lapius, M.D.

Dear Provider: No, Sincerely, Ms. Smythe for Ms. Martin Milgrim through Ms. Snyder

Dear Ms. Mss. Smythe, Snyder and Milgrim: Would you be kind enough to note that my name is Simon Quentin Lapius, BA. LLD. PhD DsC MD

Dear Provider: The code of our statutes prohibits us from discriminating.  You are a provider, no different than any other provider of Health Care.  Sincerely, Ms. Smythe for Ms. Martin Milgrim, through Ms. Snyder

Dear Ms. Smythe et al.  Is there a higher authority in charge of this mish mash whom I might make this appeal?  DOCTOR SIMON QUENTIN LAPIUS

Dear Provider: God knows.  Sincerely, Ms. Smythe

“Well,” I sighed, turning to Lapius.  “That’s quite an informative correspondence.  What are you going to do now?”

“Take it to a higher authority,” he said, handing me the letter he had just finished typing.

God

c-o Prudential Insurance

Carrier for Medicaid

Dear God: Sorry to have to bother you, but this correspondence was bucked upstairs.  Would you please review it and tell me whether there isn’t some way that a common sense solution can be found to the stated problem.  Sincerely yours, your obedient servant, Simon, Quentin Lapius, M.D.

One week later Lapius showed me the answer to his last letter.

Dear Provider: As you must know by now, I don’t make the law.  It is made in my name by mortals.  I am merely the enforcer.  Most sincerely yours, God, (signed by Ms. Smythe)